Cole vs Rap

*TODAY'S POST CONTAINS SOME EXCERPTS FROM TWO POPULAR RAP SONGS. IN THESE LYRICS MIGHT BE SOME MATERIAL THAT IS UNFIT FOR CHILDREN.*

I was listening to my old school rap playlist (like 2000's, not really old school) today while I was doing my contrast bath and two songs came on that sparked my interest. One was "Yeah" by Usher and the other was "Whatever You Like" by TI. I'd like to walk you through what made these two songs stand out for me while my elbow was freezing.

First, "Yeah" by Usher. This song was the debut single off his album, "Confessions", which is the second highest selling album of the decade (2000's). Basically it's one of the best CD's of all time, and "Yeah" was the club/dance track to headline the whole thing. I would, just for a second, like to break down the chorus of this song. Just quickly - just for my readers.

Yeah (yeah) Shorty got down low and said come and get me
Yeah (yeah) I got so caught up I forgot she told me
Yeah (yeah) Her and my girl used to be the best of homies
Yeah (yeah) Next thing I knew she was all up on me screaming:

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Yeah, Yeah! Yeaah!
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Yeah, Yeah! Yeaah!

Number 1 - this apparently is a song about Usher getting down with his girlfriends ex-bestfriend. Did girls hear that part of the song? I don't know if the backup dancers in the video would be "poppin n' lockin" as much, if they knew that this song is basically about Usher breaking the cardinal rule when it comes to relationships.

However, that is not what bothers me most about this song. My problem is this "Next thing I knew she was all up on me screaming YEAH YEAH YEAH."

Lets close our eyes and think about this for a second (not you guys - you can't read with your eyes closed). You're dancing with a chick. It's cool, she's feeling you - you're feeling her. You think your night is going pretty well (never mind this is your girlfriends best friend). She's saying sexy things to you, and you're think this may be your lucky night. Until.....she turns around mid dance and starts SCREAMING -- thats the line. Not seductively whispering, not coyly crooning, not breathily coaxing -- SCREAMING. "YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!! YEAH!! YEAH YEAH!!"

At this point in the dance I want to leave. Who are you? What did you do the sexy girl who was asking me to "come get me"? Why are you screaming at me? Is this sexy for you? You seem to be either genuinely upset or outlandishly aggressive; neither of which is fun for me.

But Usher isn't phased. This apparently is perfectly normal behavior for someone that is dancing on him, in fact - he's so moved by the gesture he plans to write a song about it. Apparently he has some sort of fetish where he enjoys people yelling at him from point blank range while grinding all up on his business.

I've listened to this song countless times, and it's a great dance song. But whenever I'm out dancing with a girl and this song comes on, my initial reaction is move away a little bit, in case she follows the song's lead and turns to me and start screaming.

The other song that came on, was TI's "Whatever You Like". This song I don't even like that much, and while the beat is catchy, the lyrics are so absurd that I can't ever get into it. Let me explain - take the following excerpt.

Stacks on deck. Patron on ice.
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like.
Yeah
Late night sex, so wet and so tight
I'll gas up the jet for you tonight and baby you can go wherever you like
I said you can go wherever you like
Yeah

Now, it may be petty of me to pick on pop songs for their lyrical mishaps, but I think it's funny so I'm gonna do it anyway. This song is about having "Whatever You Like". WHATEVER. YOU. LIKE. That is what is being offered to what I suppose is a woman that this song is apparently sung to. She picks "stacks on deck, patron on ice and late night sex". Those are the worst picks I've ever heard of. 

She's been offered anything, and she's decided pick: a couple thousand dollars (why don't you just ask for millions) or my personal favorite, "patron on ice". That drink costs 20 dollars at the ritziest bar EVER, and that's what you're going to pick? You're going to ask for a 20 dollar drink when offered anything in the world? 

Maybe I shouldn't be concerned about the girl here - maybe my attention is better directed at TI (who, after all, wrote the song). Does he really think these are the kind of things people are going to ask for when he offers them, "whatever you like"? And, "late night sex, so wet and so tight"? What girl is going to want that? Especially with those specifications at the end? That just sounds like you're doing the thing where you give your girlfriend an xbox just cause you wanna play Call of Duty. 

The ONLY thing about this that I can give any sort of credence to, is the last line - "I'll gas up the jet for you tonight and baby you can go wherever you like". That makes sense to me. That's something I'd ask for if TI were to offer me WHATEVER I LIKED. Maybe he was just leading up to this, so requests like "a new house", "world peace", "a cure for cancer" slipped out of your mind. I mean - next to "patron on ice", a plane ride to wherever you wanna go sounds like you just won the lottery.