Monday, March 26, 2012

A Couple Things I'd Like To Share

Through twitter and this blog I'd like to think that I get across a fairly good sample of how I am and how I think. But today, I was thinking that maybe I haven't been as good at expressing my particular view on the world as I would have liked. I figure since you're reading this that you actually care how it is I do see things, and what I do think about (and that is very good of you) so I've decided to share a bit.

I never really know where to put my sunglasses when I'm not wearing them. I always try to find the perfect place, but each pair is different and I have yet to find a universal place that works for every pair and every occasion. I think in a perfect world I would have a little butler to carry them around for me while I wasn't in the mood to have them on my face. And by "little" I don't mean a midget or a dwarf, I'd want a very small man - like he'd be 3 feet tall and very good at sneaking and keeps very quite and just holds the sh*^ outta those sunglasses. I wouldn't want him putting back on my sunglasses though, cause no one can do that right - not even magical little men.

I kinda want to see a crime show where the detectives never solve a single case. Just no evidence shows up and the trail goes cold - no matter how many times they go to the suspect's house they can't get anything out of them, and at the end of the show it just goes into the "unsolved" pile (I think I just came up with the prequel to Cold Case). I'd want them to get the murders where the killer is no where to be found or a serial killer doesn't decide to kill 98 people the one week that the Criminal Minds team is in town. I always find that really weird, cause I like Criminal Minds a lot, and without fail, every time they're looking for a killer, 7 people have to die in the same 20 minutes before they can finally nab him and save the person that was totally gonna be murdered if they hadn't gotten there in the nick of time.

The guy who invented the little stopper that goes in your Starbucks cup so coffee doesn't spill out when you're driving is going to be way richer than me no matter what I do. I guess I could dedicate the rest of my life to solving a problem that people had but didn't really realize they had, but I think that's way more hit and miss than even the career I picked. Also, I wanna know who that guy is. Is he some really cool inventor/venture capitalist guy who is cutting edge, and it was just a matter of time before he caught his big break and is currently working on solving some more problems? Chances are he's just some dad from Nebraska who was tired of coffee spilling all over this car on the commute to work. And because of this invention, he now has no commute to work. So ironically, the very problem that drove him to make the invention that is now his job rendered the problem he originally tried to fix irrelevant. *That last sentence is for the higher level thinker*

Why isn't there wireless charging? On one hand, it makes sense cause electricity travels through wires and thats how that works. But at the same time, internet used to travel through wires, and look where we are now. I know that we have that little pad deal where you can put stuff and it'll charge that way, but why don't have wireless charging? I mean, I'm pretty sure there's static electricity all around us - why hasn't someone figured out how to channel that into a wireless charging system? I think one of you should do that and then give me 5% of the company.

If I break into Wells Fargo and steal the exact amount of money I already have in my account is that still stealing? I mean, I know it wasn't exactly "my money", but isn't it close enough that I'd just get popped for a breaking and entering rap? Would I still have a bank account? If so - how much would be in it?

If I could have one super power it would be the ability to speak any language. I know that flying or being invisible or reading minds sounds awesome - but I really don't think anything would be cooler than to meet anyone in the world and be able to talk to them in their native tongue fluently without hesitation or concern. Also, the ability for eavesdropping would be unlimited, and I'm a huge fan of listening to the conversations of strangers.

The first thing I would do as king of the world is take away a dog's ability to bark. I like dogs just fine - but barking is the worst thing ever. I understand the counter argument that dog can scare away robbers and save lives with barking to warn people or alert people; but the ratio of dogs barking to help people and dogs barking cause the UPS truck is going down the street just isn't close enough for me to let them have that. ....the second thing I would do is cure cancer.

I'd like to be a lizard. I think a life of being very fast and finding hot rocks to nap on would be very nice. I know that I would have to eat gross foods, but I wonder if they're gross to a lizard. Maybe if I were a lizard I wouldn't care as much that I was eating flies and that. Also my tail would detach and I don't think I would ever get tired of that. I'm not entirely sure how I would feel about not being the top of the food chain, but part of me also thinks it would be sweet to try to evade a hawk or something. Maybe I could raise a lizard army and use or strength in numbers to kill the hawk and have a hawk feast.

This is what happens in my mind on a daily basis. I can't really stop - never really tried to be honest with you. I rather enjoy having a mind that wanders about on me, though it can get in the way from time to time. I hoped you enjoyed your time inside my brain - feel free to stop by any time via my twitter (@C_M_Cook) or shoot me an email to join in on the fun ( Have a good one, and GO TRIBE. We're so close to opening day it's right out there at the end of my fingertips - can't wait to get my hands on that game ball and toe the rubber for the first time.


  1. I seriously didn't realize the purpose of the Starbucks stopper until last year. Now it's one of my favorite things about going to Bux. GET ME A DRINK THAT REQUIRES A STOPPER. NOWWWWWWWW.

  2. You might not want to mention the Hawk Feast to Shelly Duncan...